Talia Lerner
BIO
Assistant professor of neuroscience (US). Mom-of-two.
Instagram: @qualia34
Twitter: @TaliaLerner
Talia Lerner
“There’s not always a perfect answer but advocating for what you need is very important.”
I always wanted to be a scientist. I started in biochemistry and cell biology, but fell in love with neuroscience late in college, working in a research lab to get the experience necessary for grad school applications. I did my PhD and postdoc in neuroscience and now I’m an Assistant Professor of Neuroscience at Northwestern (US). I absolutely love running an academic research lab – it’s my dream job!
I also always thought I wanted to be a mom, although I wasn’t exactly sure how to incorporate that desire into my career goals at first. A few years into my postdoc and coming up on my 30s, I decided to give it a go. I was amazingly lucky to finish working on a big paper and submit a successful grant application (K99/R00) shortly before giving birth to my first child. However, after the birth, things became very difficult.
I wrote faculty applications while theoretically on maternity leave, exhausted and fuzzy-brained, then began travelling for interviews when my son was just a few months old.
Coordinating infant care, pumping, etc while going through this process was stressful. I’m always happy to give advice to other women trying to navigate this tricky stage! There’s not always a perfect answer but advocating for what you need is very important and if particular institutions don’t show respect for those needs, it’s very telling.
My mom, also a scientist, helped me a lot with childcare and emotional support during this time. I’m very lucky to have had an example of a happy working mom to make me believe it was possible to carry through with this process.
If you ever need to fight mom guilt, remember the excellent example you are setting for your daughters and young girls everywhere; that they can be mothers AND be leaders and innovators, and follow their dreams.
Starting my first independent faculty position was also a very hard stage of my career. I think it’s a challenging transition even in the best of circumstances, but for me it was particularly tough because my marriage fell apart. I won’t give details here, but I will say that it left me as a full-time single parent. Here again, self-advocacy became very important.
Society is often structured assuming there is a partner to help with things at home and finding ways to get extra help when needed was key. For example, Northwestern provides $1000/year as a Dependent Care Professional Development Grant. I used this to travel to conferences and pay for childcare. More programs like this would be helpful to all parents but especially those with fewer built-in resources from family.
A few years after starting my faculty position, I remarried and had another baby. I now have a husband who is incredibly supportive of my career and a wonderful dad who does a lot for our kids. Although I now know from experience that it’s possible to make it on my own, I have to say that a great partner makes it all much better! Choosing a partner who shares your values and is truly committed to shared household responsibilities is very wise.
Weathering the COVID-19 pandemic with small children at home has been difficult. However, a silver lining is that zoom is now an accepted method of communication and I think it will stick around as an option that makes keeping up with your career much easier to juggle with parenthood. For example, I plan to go to my son’s school for an end-of-the-year party soon and I can easily do this by working from home that day and taking zoom meetings, then popping over to the school for a couple of hours.
Throughout my career, as I’ve learned to balance work with family, I’ve found that you simply have to stick to your guns. Define your own success and don't submit to judgements (imagined or real).
If having kids is important to you, then do it and you will find a way to make it work with your career. Prioritise what matters most to you about work and most to you about your kids, and protect your time accordingly.
Don’t agree to serve on committees that would force you to miss important kids’ events, like musical performances or sports games. Don’t get roped into boring PTA meetings that would force you to miss important work opportunities. Don’t feel guilty about saying no when you need to! It is your life to live as you see fit.