Kimberly Arcand
BIO
Visualisation scientist for NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory and a PI on cutting-edge emerging technology projects, who submitted her Ph.D. thesis after 20 years working in the field. Mom-of-two.
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Kimberly Arcand
“There were plenty of times I felt exhausted or guilty or miserable or confused or just plain stupid. It was the work-life seesaw.”
When I was little I dreamed of being a mom, I even had multiple names picked out for my future imaginary children. In college though, I started wondering how I would ever be able to make that happen while working in STEM. I was studying molecular biology at the time, saw endless years of medical school or graduate school ahead and I could not see how I would balance that with a family. I also had accumulated a lot of college debt by then. So, after graduating with my bachelor’s degree I decided to go to work. I started part-time graduate work in computer science soon after as my work could pay for much of it (one of the many reasons I took the job). But then, about half way through the program, I found I was pregnant – a happy surprise – and I had to put the graduate work on hold.
I almost left my dream job after giving birth to my first child as I could not imagine how I would manage going back to work full time in a competitive field, working long hours, commuting a long distance in terrible traffic, every day. My director however, to whom I will ever be grateful, convinced me to stay.
She reassured me and worked with me on a schedule to come back slowly after a longer maternity leave - I had saved up plenty of vacation time - working from home as much as was feasible at a time when teleworking was not encouraged. My career would have progressed quite differently, I’m sure, if she didn’t have the patience and care to do that, and if my own family hadn’t been tremendously supportive through the transitions.
When I was ready to go back to work, and then back to school, I had to pause. Because what I didn’t realise is that I only had 5 years to finish the computer science program start-to-finish. By the time I came back three years after having my second child, I was told my credits were wasted, as they were no longer valid (not that knowledge is ever wasted of course). I decided to take a couple more years off school to focus on my very young children. Then, once I felt I was ready, I searched for a new part-time graduate program.
I started the new graduate program when my kids were in preschool and kindergarten, and I graduated a few years later as one of the few program participants to have finished as a part-time student (most were full time, so the program administrators had been a little worried on how I would adjust and if I would complete). I have a picture of me and my young children at my Master’s graduation ceremony that I just love.
I took a few more years off of school after that to focus on family and work again, co-writing a couple non-fiction books in between. Then, when my kids were in middle school, an amazing opportunity for PhD funding came my way (thanks to a colleague that had also completed her PhD work as a mom) that I just could not pass up. TLDR: I submitted my thesis after 20 years working in my field.
Of course all of the above might sound smooth and seamless, and full of intentional movement and direction perhaps. It wasn’t. There were plenty of times I felt exhausted or guilty or miserable or confused or just plain stupid. It was the work-life seesaw. We lost my husband’s parents from terminal illnesses during this, and being close with them, it was hard for my family.
I developed a chronic illness during my Master’s program, which has been a challenge to live with since. I asked myself why I was doing this, many times, as I had a good job and a supportive spouse. I didn’t have to keep pushing so hard, did I? The simple answer was yes. I love to learn.
I had always wanted to go “all the way” in school, as a kid who had grown up in a small town, without a whole lot of money, who was not a “genius,” I’m not sure I ever really believed I would have such opportunities, however. As the first in my family to go to college, I wanted to prove (to myself) I could do it and also make my loved ones proud.