Fathers Who Care Testimonials
Introducing Testimonials
A safe space for sharing experiences of bias and discrimination against caregivers studying or working in the STEMM sector.
Because everyone is affected by the stigma.
Father in STEMM | Senior Research Fellow | 49 yrs | Australia
“I’m primary carer of a child with multiple disabilities. This has prevented me from working full time for many years. My colleagues have mostly been reasonably understanding, but my supervisor seems to believe that as a man I should be leaving this to my partner (the child's mother), and has made only token allowances in his expectations of my performance. [...] The cost to my own career [of being a primary carer] is enormous and my employer gives me no credit for it.”
Father in STEMM | Postdoctoral researcher | 38 yrs | Japan
“I work in Japan and I was on a temporary contract at the time of my son's birth. I was not offered paternal leave and as far as I was aware, this was not an option. I had to work around my teaching and research obligations to support my wife during and after my son's birth. It’s considered very unusual here for a husband to support his wife at all. The expectation is that the burden of child care for newborn children is taken by the women.”
#breakthebiasSTEMM
Father in STEMM | Unemployed | 37 yrs | Sweden
“It was a crucial time when I needed to submit my final manuscript, I had a parallel fight between COVID-19 lockdown and being a single father. It became a nightmare when my employer ignored my parental responsibility and asked me to work during nights during the COVID-19 lockdown.”
Father in STEMM | Research Assistant | 28 yrs | Australia
“My employer continued to assume I could drop everything for work, that I was married and that I could get my (non-existent) partner to look after the children at a moments notice. I remember hearing something along the lines of "I'm disappointed you can't be here... You should have gotten your partner to look after the children".
Father in STEMM | postdoctoral Researcher | 34 yrs | Australia
“My mentors expected me to give 24 hours a day 7 days a week to my career aspirations and funding applications. [...] It was made clear to me that the expectation was that my work would come before my family (even during COVID lock down) if I were to be successful in this line of work. That is not a commitment that I am willing to make, my family are not ornaments or furnishings and I wish to take an active role in the growth of my children. As such, I think I will leave academia in the near future [...] and my decision to prioritise my family has therefore had a direct impact on the continuation of my academic career.”
Father in STEMM | Principal Investigator | 38 yrs | United States
“I was not allowed parental leave or a pause in my tenure clock.”
Father in STEMM | Postdoctoral Researcher | 40 yrs| Australia
“I was actively denied opportunities from supervisors to take on students and projects due to my responsibilities as a carer to my children. I lost my job when I made a complaint about these things, even though denying me these opportunities due to my circumstances is illegal.”
Father in STEMM | Lecturer | 40 yrs| Canada
“A man taking a long parental leave (12 months) was negatively perceived in France (we moved for my wife's job) and prevented me from getting interviews or the position.”
Father in STEMM | Principal Investigator | 46 yrs| Australia
“My institution has internal funds to support women to attend conferences to defray the cost of travel with their children, but none for single fathers. I haven't been able to attend a conference outside of my city for the past five years.”
“My supervisor was shocked that I didn't attend international conferences for 6 months after the birth of children, and there was some frustration that my working hours in the lab were reduced (even though I continued to do desk work at home). A number of colleagues were surprised when I couldn't attend social or networking events, or even department meetings on the days and weeks I had my children [...]. Single parents often fall through the cracks.”
Father in STEMM | Postdoctoral Researcher | 39 yrs |Germany
“Because of my one-year parental leave, many of the research findings were published by colleagues. Now, for my promotion, I have to make do with the ‘leftovers.’”